Why Good Intentions Don’t Always Create Good Experiences

After years of working in UI/UX, I have noticed a fascinating similarity between products and everyday life:

• Product designers often focus on the intention behind what they create. Users, however, judge products through the experience they receive.
• People are the same. An action that comes from good intentions does not always create a comfortable experience for the person receiving it.

These are small moments that the person doing them may never notice. Yet they are enough to create completely different experiences from the same action.

1/ The gap between good intentions and boundaries

One day, a junior student from my university messaged me:

“Can I ask you something a little awkward? I have a new colleague on my team. Her computer had a problem, and I had experienced the same issue before, so I went over to help her. At that moment, I didn’t think much about it. But looking back, I feel like the way I helped might not have been appropriate. Recently, she seems to avoid me. Maybe I made her uncomfortable.”

I knew him from university activities. He was always the kind of person who naturally wanted to help whenever someone had difficulties.

So I asked:

“What happened when you helped her?”

“She was sitting in front of the computer. I didn’t think much about it. I just leaned forward, one hand on the keyboard and the other on the mouse, so my arm accidentally went around her. After fixing the problem, I noticed she had curled herself up.”

I put myself in her position and thought for a moment.

“I think you have already identified the key issue. If I were sitting there, I might feel uncomfortable because my personal space and sense of safety were affected.”

“So what should I do now?”

“Just give her a sincere apology. Something like:
‘When I helped you fix your computer that day, I was only focusing on solving the problem. But thinking back, I realized the way I stood might have made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.’ And next time, you can simply ask her to stand up first if you need to work directly on the computer.”

What I found most interesting about this story is how similar it is to User Experiences.

When users encounter a problem, a UI/UX Designer does not say: “But I designed it with good intentions.” Instead, the question should be: “What was the user’s experience? What can I do to make that experience genuinely better?”

2/ The gap between ordinary and memorable experiences

Sometimes my work finishes quite late. On those days, I usually book a Grab ride home.

Normally, the driver drops me at my destination and immediately leaves for the next ride. But once, after stopping the bike, the driver looked at the dark road ahead and said:

“It’s quite dark here. Please go inside first. I’ll leave after you’re safely home.”

He stayed there. Waiting for me to open the door. Waiting for me to step inside. Waiting until the light in my house turned on before leaving.

Watching his bike disappear into the night, I felt a deep sense of gratitude. Because he noticed something beyond what his job required: my feeling of safety as a customer.

A few extra minutes of waiting might have been just a small action for him. But for the person receiving it, it created a completely different experience.

It made me think deeply about User Experiences. A good product does not only help users complete a task. It also notices the needs outside the main flow: the feeling of reassurance, trust, and small details that make users feel cared for.

That Grab driver taught me a User Experiences lesson that no classroom could teach: Sometimes, what creates a memorable experience is not how much you do. It is recognizing what needs to be done, even when nobody asks you to.

3/ The gap of context

From everyday family meals, I noticed something interesting.

The action is the same: offering food with chopsticks. But what changes is not the chopsticks. It is the distance between two people.

• When parents pick food for their children, the child may feel loved.
• When lovers do it for each other, it becomes an expression of intimacy.
• When close friends do it, it feels warm and thoughtful.
• But when someone who is not close enough does the same thing, the feeling can change. The receiver may become awkward, unsure how to respond.
• And when a complete stranger does it, the first reaction may be surprise and caution.

The interesting thing is that the external action barely changes. But the internal experience of the receiver changes completely.

In design, no element has a fixed meaning when separated from context. A red button is not automatically good or bad. Placed on a “Delete Account” button, it creates a sense of warning. Placed on an “Emergency Support” button, it creates a sense of safety.

Same component. Different context. Completely different experience. Designers cannot remove context from their decisions. Because humans work the same way. An action does not carry a fixed meaning by itself. Its meaning is created by relationships, situations, and the perception of the person receiving it.

Because ultimately, User Experiences does not begin with screens. It begins with people: Learning to notice. Learning to see the world through the experience of those who are living in it.